


iFix It Myself

by Leafsdude



Category: iCarly
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, F/F, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-08-12
Updated: 2010-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 01:37:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/106892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leafsdude/pseuds/Leafsdude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up pretty much right before we leave the Normal-Spencer-Verse in iChristmas. "Fine, if that freak won't help me, then I'll fix it myself. I can do that, can't I?" Eventually CarlyxSam</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Am Slowly Going Crazy

_A/N: Okay, let's see here. This takes place during iChristmas, leading off right before Carly gives up on Mitch showing up again. The idea was basically, what if it was a movie-length episode instead of the regular 22 minutes? So now, instead of the quick fix, we've got a bit of interesting stuff and a more involved conclusion! Say it with me: yay!_

This will probably mostly read like an episode, so it should be cool to read for anyone who would care to. I'll be sure to note clearly if there's a change. As well, obviously, there's many a spoiler to read here. If there are episodes you haven't watched yet, especially iChristmas though there are others, too, and you hate to be spoiled, don't read until you're sure. There's also a level of necessity to at least understand the plot of iChristmas, at least to start. Fair warning

As for shipping, I have a possible plan on that, but for the moment it'll remain vague. Suffice to say, I will not be shipping either of the main 'canon' pairings, but it shouldn't be too out there. If you can't stand to see any other pairing, then I would suggest you tread carefully.

Lastly, as for reviewing, I keep an open policy. If you want to just read anonymously, I am not a hog for ego-building. If you do wish to review, as long as you keep it civil, I can promise I will enjoy reading them and might send you a line in response, especially to any questions. I mostly write for my own enjoyment, and just post in case someone else wants to join in on it, so anything is a bonus. In other words, no pressure.

I think that's all, except enjoy.

Disclaimer: Dan seems to be above suing children, so if anyone asks, I'm 5 years old, okay? Yeah, that's not creepy at all. Just read!

Legend: _Italics are thoughts_, except when _single_ words.

Summary: Picks up pretty much right before we leave the Normal-Spencer-Verse (to be referred to by me from now on as NSV) in iChristmas. "Finally, Carly gave up. Giving a box a swift kick, she bolted out of the room. 'Fine, if that freak won't help me, then I'll fix it myself. I can do that, can't I?'"

 

* * *

 

**iFix It Myself: An iChristmas Extended Episode Fic**

By:

David Armstrong, AKA Leafsdude

 

* * *

 

**Chapter 1: I Am Slowly Going Crazy**

 

"Mitch!" Carly shouted once more. Where is that short, evil angel, she wondered. He always seemed to show up on command, as if shouting his name was like Mrs. Benson blowing Freddie's whistle. Why was it, now that she was completely freaking out, he was still conspicuously absent?

Another moment passed, and Carly looked around for the presence of Mitch, looking over the boxes that would easily hide him.

Finally, Carly gave up. Giving a box a swift kick, she bolted out of the room. _Fine, if that freak won't help me, then I'll fix it myself_, Carly paused, the door to the studio…correction, _attic_, slamming shut behind her. _I can do that, can't I? I mean, I know he's magical, but that doesn't mean I'm trapped like this forever, does it?_

Carly shook her head, waiting for an idea to pop into her head. _C'mon Carly, Sam always says you're great at figuring things out_… Carly trailed off from her thought. "Sam!"

*Flashback*

"How do you know my mom has a tattoo of a foot on her foot?" Sam asked angrily, a hard glare at Carly, wondering what this…_girl_ was up to. Was she some sort of spy? "How do you know all that stuff?"

"I told you!" Carly replied impatiently. "We're best friends!"

Sam paused. She didn't sound like a spy. Spies are supposed to be all subtle and emotionless, right? And they don't make slip-ups like saying they got you into juvie, clearly the worst place she'd ever been. Sam thought for a moment. If Carly really was her best friend, she'd know stuff that Sam had never told anyone, right?

"What's my favourite colour?" She asked confrontationally.

"Brown," Carly replied without missing a beat.

"Why?" Sam asked. A spy would still be trained to make it sound like they were sure when they were only guessing. Maybe she just got lucky.

"'Cause it's the colour of gravy," Carly answered as swiftly, giving her best 'duh' look.

Sam paused. _She's good._

"What's my favourite junk food?" She pressed again.

"Fat cakes," Carly replied absently. Would this Sam, who wasn't her best friend, and was locked up in juvie, still be obsessed with fat cakes?

"What's my favourite book?" Sam asked in rapid-fire.

Carly caught on, without even thinking about it. So far, everything about Sam was the same, except she was on the other side of a jail, and she didn't know Carly.

"Boogie-Bear 3: The Return Of Boogie-Bear."

"What do I hate most?"

"People!"

"What do I want to be when I grow up?" Sam asked. No one knew that one, and there surely wasn't anyone who could figure it out by spying on her.

"An invisible ninja!" Carly replied, keeping eye-contact with Sam the whole time.

Sam stared in awe. "Wow…"

*End Flashback*

Sam didn't just toss her, granted, insane-sounding problem out the window like Spencer and Mrs. Benson, and even Freddie did. And if anyone could think of something when Carly couldn't, it would be Sam.

Carly hurried down the stairs, too lost in her plan to pay attention in front of her.

"Hey, Carly, are you…?" Smack. Carly ran hard into Freddie, knocking the two off-balance. Luckily, Freddie was a bit more swift in this reality, catching hold of the railing while keeping Carly from falling the rest of the way down.

"Ouch," Carly said, rubbing her head, hoping there wasn't going to be a bruise.

"Yeah," Freddie agreed absently. "Hey, you sounded kinda crazy back there. You're not losing your marbles, are you? You know, not playing with a full deck? Maybe a few bricks short of a load?"

"Alright, I get it," Carly broke in, rolling her eyes.

"Well, are you?" Freddie asked after a pause.

"Umm," Carly gave Freddie a look before shrugging. "Yeah, maybe just a little."

"Oh," Freddie looked down dejectedly for a moment before his eyes shot back up. "Wait, did you just say you were?"

Carly shrugged again. She wasn't really sure if she was or not herself. It really didn't matter, though, did it? _Why can't Freddie just leave me alone right now?_

"Will you go out with me?" Freddie asked quickly, that hopeful look of the real Freddie in his eyes.

"What?" Carly asked incredulously. "But…but you're dating icky Rona Burger. I mean, not icky. Sweet, nice, totally not bossy Rona Burger."

"Oh, come on!" Freddie said. "Have you listened to her at all? She's crazy!"

"Well, yes, she is," Carly agreed without pause. "But then, why are you dating her?"

Freddie gave Carly a look. "I lost a bet," he answered.

"Oh," Carly gave Freddie a sympathetic look. "With who?"

"You," Freddie muttered.

Carly paused. _I made Freddie date icky Rona Burger 'cause of a bet? I don't bet._ "Umm, sorry?"

Freddie shrugged, dodging the comment by pointing down the stairs. "So, umm, where were you going?"

"Oh, umm, I was, uh," Carly paused. Did this Freddie even know Sam? And was he just blushing a little? "I was going to talk to Sam again. I thought maybe she could help me figure out…"

"SA…mmph, mmph, mmph!" Carly quickly covered Freddie's mouth to keep him from shouting out Sam's name. There's no way a normal-Spencer wouldn't hear him from downstairs, what with all the lack of loud noises damaging his eardrums. _Unless there are lots of loud noises in court rooms, like 'you can't handle the truth!' Naa, probably not._

"Shhh!" Carly scolded, giving Freddie a hard look. Freddie nodded that he understood, and Carly removed her hand.

"Samantha Puckett?!" He whispered in disbelief. "She's in juvie. And totally off her rocker! Why would you want to talk to her?"

"'Cause we were best friends," Carly said for the thousandth time. It was totally strange to have to say it to anyone. It was common knowledge that she was Sam's best friend, and vice versa. "And she's the only one who's even listened to anything I've said."

"What in all things plump and tasty could Samantha Puckett do to help you?" Freddie asked, not for a moment taking anything Carly just said seriously.

"I don't know, but I'm kind of running out of options," Carly said.

"Yeah, clearly," Freddie muttered, causing Carly to pause to shoot daggers at Freddie. "I'll be quiet."

"Usually when I don't know what to do, Sam does," Carly continued to explain. "Just like I do when she doesn't. And why do you keep using her full name? She's just Sam."

"'Just Sam'," Freddie repeated with a snort. "Alright, whatever. Have fun with the _criminally insane_ 'Sam'!"

Freddie started to walk off, laughing at his own joke.

"Wait!" Carly said sharply in her authoritative tone, causing Freddie to stop cold, turning back to look at her. "I need a distraction. I don't think Spencer would let me wander out right now without an explanation, and I don't think I can lie my way past him."

"Oh, no," Freddie shook his head with dread. "I'm not helping you go see a psycho in jail. You're on your own."

Carly gave Freddie a look. "Uh huh," she said, not believing it for a second.

"I mean it!" he repeated, not faltering.

"Please?" Carly asked sweetly. "For me?"

Freddie's guard fell down in a second. "Alright," he said before realizing it. "Argh!"

"It won't be that bad," Carly offered grabbing Freddie's arm and pulling him back towards the main floor. "Just find some way to keep Spencer and the rest of them from looking towards the kitchen. I'll sneak out the back way."

"Fine," Freddie replied in disgust. "But I'm not going to like it."

"Yeah, yeah," Carly replied, not caring at all. "Oh, and Nevel. If you could do something mean to him, that'd be great."

Freddie perked up. "Really?"

Carly shrugged, giving Freddie another push. "I'll be down in a minute, so make sure they're not looking!"

 

* * *

 

Elsewhere, in parts unknown, Mitch was dealing with his role in all this about as well.

"Yeah, I know, but this isn't the way it's supposed to work," Mitch said, shaking his head and pacing around.

"Hey, don't worry, you'll still get your wings," a voice boomed back from nowhere and everywhere at once.

"I told her, though," Mitch started, an unhappy look on his face. "Once the wish granted teaches a valuable lesson, I get my wings and things go back to normal."

"Sometimes you have to change the rules in the middle of the game," Booming Voice answered. "And besides, this looks like it could be a lot of fun to watch."

"I still don't like it," Mitch said, shaking his head, even though he knew it probably would be. "Those wings better be good."

"I'll make them golden," Booming Voice responded with a slight laugh.

"That sounds good," Mitch replied after a moment's thought. "Alright, let's watch."

 

* * *

 

Freddie gave Carly a couple looks over his shoulder as he headed downstairs. _What am I doing?_ He asked himself, looking around at the group in the main room. _Carly might like you if you do it_, he argued with himself.

Grabbing his camcorder out of his pocket, he wandered over, giving them an innocent smile.

"Hey, I was thinking, well, we're all here," he started, gaining everyone's attention. "Why not let me film you all to, uh, commemorate this lovely evening?"

"You're not going to put it on that _digital_ photo frame, are you?" Rona asked, giving him a snide look.

"No, videos can't go on a digital photo frame," Freddie answered sweetly. "'Though I could make a DVD of it for everyone if you guys want."

"That sounds lovely, Freddie," Spencer nodded. "How about we sing some Christmas carols and drink some low-fat, non-alcoholic eggnog while Freddie films us?"

Nevel and Mrs. Benson smiled in approval while Spencer picked up the nog and a boom box from the counter, hitting play on the latter, causing the starting bars of "Carol of the Bells" to belt out of the speakers loudly.

"Whoops, forgot to turn the dial down," Spencer said nonchalantly as he calmly turned the volume dial to a more reasonable level. "Everybody ready?"

Everyone nodded, except Rona, who just stared daggers at Freddie. Freddie, for his part, was handling the stress well, keeping the cam steady, and masking his awkward glances towards the stairs every couple seconds from the group.

Finally, Carly made her way down, peaking around the corner and seeing everyone intently focused on Freddie, and completely ignoring what was going on behind them. She quietly tip-toed the rest of the way down before looking into the kitchen. To her surprise, the door was closed.

_Erg! Evil normal Spencer and his over-careful ways_, she thought as she took another glance towards the offending party. Making eye-contact again with Freddie, she finally noticed the camera. _Ahhh! He's filming me!_

Carly gave Freddie a not-so-hard-to-decipher look. Freddie gave a shrug, and pointed at the group, all of which were completely focused on something or someone else during the song. As they all turned back at Freddie, he masked his movements to give a 'you're doing perfect' sign at the rest as Carly snuck out the door. _Hopefully he gets the hint and deletes that film as soon as they're done, she thought worriedly. Or I might only have as long as it takes them to find out I'm gone to figure this out._

 

* * *

 

Getting off of the bus at the designated stop for the Juvenile Detention Facility, Carly tried to wipe off the hobo drool on her jeans, a disgusted look on her face. She immediately looked around for any signs of Spencer or anyone else she knew. Seeing it was clear, she headed into the scary-looking building.

The previous time she was here, Mitch had magically set a visitation time. She wasn't sure if she had to pre-book. _One way or another, I'm talking to Sam_, Carly thought aggressively. _I just hope I don't have to break any glass or nails doing it._

She walked up to the front desk, giving a wave at the woman at the front desk.

"Hey!" she said perkily. "Umm, I'd like to talk to Sam...uh, Samantha Puckett."

The heavyset woman gave Carly a hard look, before, pointing towards the visitation area.

Carly just shrugged, taking the direction noted. "Alright then," she muttered to herself. "And a good day to you, too."

Taking her seat, she waited for the guard to bring Sam.

As opposed to the first time, when Carly heard Sam before she saw her, there was no trademark Sam arguing as she slid down to her side of the glass. She gave Carly a snide glance that Carly immediately read as her 'I don't know what's going on, so watch it' look.

"Hey," Sam said, starting the conversation this time with feigned disinterest. Her incredulous tone from the first meeting was completely gone, replaced with the same awe from earlier.

"Sam, I need your help," Carly started, but was cut off by Sam.

"If you don't have what I asked you for, I'm not listening," Sam commented, raising her eyebrows. "You said you know what it's like in here, so help me out or get lost, okay?"

Carly looked softly at Sam. She wasn't as completely hostile towards Carly as she was before, but she still wasn't being nice. Or at least what Carly's defined as 'nice' for her best friend. Reaching into her pocket, Carly pulled out a fat cake, handing it to the guard who inspected it carefully before deciding it was okay.

Sam, for her part, looked possessively at the snack, only barely keeping the drool from escaping her wide open mouth.

"Will you listen now?" Carly asked impatiently, watching Sam scarf down the cake in record time, even for her.

"Yes, yes, what up?" Sam replied, giving Carly a bit more of a diplomatic gaze, though it still wasn't exactly friendly.

"Well, you remember what I told you, about the wish thing?" Carly asked, getting her expected nod back from Sam. "Well, it seems like Mitch has decided to ditch me now."

"So?" Sam asked, shrugging. "That creep sounds like the type of dude you'd want to lose."

Carly smiled in spite of herself. _Dude…_ "Yes, but I have no idea how to fix all of this without him. I thought, well…You always seem to know what to do when I don't."

"Hey, I'm not even sure if I believe you yet," Sam retorted, giving Carly a surprised glance. "What makes you think I'd have any idea how to fix it?"

"You're…you're resourceful," Carly offered, a hopeful eyebrow cocked. "And you know how to get out of stuff. I mean, Spencer's the one with the 3 days of law school, but you always seem to know how to get around those little things better than he does."

"Momma does have her ways," Sam agreed wistfully. "But it's not like I have any idea on how to reverse some magical spell I don't even believe in. And even if I did, hello! That'd mean I'd, like, not exist anymore!"

"Don't say that, Sam," Carly cut in, giving her a look. "You're still the same person, you're just, umm, not my friend, and in juvie. But everything else about you is the same. You'll still exist."

"Well, that does sound good," Sam finally agreed. "Juvie's such a bummer. Being out again would be nice."

"How, umm," Carly paused, trying to find a nice way to ask. "How long are you here?"

"Two more days," Sam said perkily. "Mom said she'll pick me up and get me some ice cream from the cafeteria."

"Cafeteria?" Carly asked, before looking behind her in the direction Sam glanced towards, spotting the cafeteria. "You're going to eat icky cafeteria food right after you're released? And what kind of juvie has a cafeteria in the first place?"

"I asked that, too, but, hey, it's better than the nothing she gives me at home," Sam retorted simply, her hands raised in a 'give me a break' gesture.

"Well, forget that," Carly offered, her voice dropping slightly, giving the guard a subtle glance to make sure he didn't hear. "You must know some way out of here."

Sam shrugged. "Well, yeah, but I tried it, it's impossible."

"The barred windows that only open from the outside?" Carly asked knowingly, raising an eyebrow.

"I like the way you think, Shay," Sam said with an evil smile.

"I know," Carly replied with an equivalent smile.

 

* * *

 

"Great, now I'm an accessory to an escape," Mitch muttered in disbelief.

"What, she always helps Sam escape," Booming Voice replied with a chuckle. "You need to relax a bit."

"You know, the more I get to know you, the more I think you gave Sam your personality," Mitch retorted.

"That's insulting," Booming Voice shot back, clearly not impressed. "Sam doesn't deserve such badmouthing."

"Yeah, yeah," Mitch shrugged. "Though, hey, with her out now, maybe they'll…"

"Hey, don't ruin it," Booming Voice cut him off.

"Oh, uh, right," Mitch stuttered. "Spencer's going to go wild."

"Yeah," Booming Voice agreed. "Should be fun."

Mitch just sighed in reply.

 

* * *

 

**TBC**

 

* * *

 

_A/N: Ooo, is Mitch actually a part of an evil organization? Of course not, you fool! *Smirk*_

On a more serious note, just a few clarifications on this chapter. Well, one, really. Some people might me asking themselves, "how did Freddie know that Carly was talking about that Sam when Carly used just her first name?" And if you did, good for you. Of course, the simple, yet cop-out, answer for that is, she's the only person they know named 'Sam'. I know, far fetched, but go with it. Without it, it gets long and tedious, so revel in the lack of sense at some points.

Now, one final thing before I go. I have stuck in a few interesting tidbits (or, if you prefer, references) for the readers to find. There's some simple ones, and some hard to spot ones. I stick them in 2 catagories:

In-Show: Referencing one-time gags or moments. Running gags do not count. Same with anything that is directly referencing a scene, nor anything from iChristmas, for obvious reasons.

Pop-Culture: Referencing media from outside the show. Most are well-known, and largely quoted ones, but there's a few rare ones that only those really into pop-culture will catch.

In this chapter, there are 4 in-show references, and 3 pop-culture references. See if you can name them all!

That's it for now.

Happy reading!


	2. The Escape Of The Century

_A/N: Well, hello again. Yes, this chapter's slightly shorter than the last one. I will try my best to make it the SHORTEST in this fic, but I'm expecting the next few scenes to be much longer, so it was either post way too much in a single post, or post too little. Keep in mind that by posting too little, I have managed to get a chapter ready quicker than by posting too much._

_Anyway, the same in the first chapter A/N applies here, so this note should be shorter. That means further episode extending, spoiler alerts, future ship pairing that don't involve Freddie with either of the female leads, and free reviewing, which I noticed all of you took to heart._

_So I lied. Review now! I'm crying now because all you mean readers didn't say how awesome I am! So please, if you care at all about my feelings, review!_

_Oh, c'mon, don't scroll over…don't click that…no, stop typ-…oh, don't you DARE hit that post butto…_

_Jeez, hasn't anybody heard of sarcasm before? Sheesh! *Facepalm* Just read the chapter already!_

_(Damn, that ended up being about as long, didn't it? Sorry…)_

Disclaimer: Dan seems to be above suing children, so if anyone asks, I'm 5 years old, okay? Yeah, that's not creepy at all. Just read!

Legend: _Italics are thoughts, _except when_ single _words_._

Summary: The NSV has failed to end for Carly. So now she's taken it upon herself to get out of this rat-hole, volunteering Sam by breaking her out of jail. Will Spencer and Freddie drag Carly to an insane asylum? Will Sam break every bone in their body when they try? Will there be any more lame pop culture references? Only the writer knows! Muhahaha!

(…Hey, that's your cue to read on. Hurry, now!)

* * *

**iFix It Myself: An iChristmas Extended Episode Fic**

**By:**

**David Armstrong, AKA Leafsdude**

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Escape Of The Century!**

As Carly quietly entered the loft from the kitchen door later that afternoon, she was relieved and disturbed to see Spencer and Mrs. Benson curled up asleep on the couch. She immediately snuck upstairs, heading towards the attic, hoping that no one knew she was gone in the first place. Pulling out her phone, she quickly dialled Freddie's number. As she hit 'dial', she jumped when she heard a squeak behind her along with a buzz.

"Ahh, ouph!" Freddie muttered quietly as he answered the phone in a high-pitched voice. "Uh, the number you have reached is no longer in service. Please hang up and try again!"

"Freddie," Carly scolded, walking over to the boy. "Why are you here?"

"I was, uhh…" Freddie paused as he tried to come up with some excuse.

"Looking for my diary?" Carly interjected, giving Freddie a look.

"Carly, I would never…" He stopped upon seeing the look. "Yeah."

"Well, whatever," Carly said hurriedly. "Does anyone know I was gone?"

"No, they all thought you went to take a nap 'cause you were so embarrassed about your outburst," Freddie said. "I told them you had a dream and it confused you, but you're okay now."

"Uh huh, completely okay," Carly said sarcastically. "Look, I've got to go out again, but after dark this time. Can you go with me?"

"Umm, sure," Freddie said, giving Carly a look. "What are we doing?"

"Nothing, just…breaking Sam out of juvie," Carly replied as if it was a normal thing. Which, when she thought about it, it was.

"You're breaking Sam out of juvie?" Freddie repeated loudly.

"Jeez, could you say that any louder? I don't think my granddad heard you in Yakima!" Carly whispered sarcastically.

"Why are you breaking Sam out of juvie?" Freddie asked, looking at Carly like she had two heads.

"Well, she's out in two days anyway, and I need her to help me now," Carly replied defensively. "I can't take two more days of this. I don't know if I can stand one more minute of it!"

"Wait. You want me to help you?" Freddie's eyes went wide. "Do you know what people like Sam do to people like me?"

"Yeah, I do," Carly laughed, before sobering on Freddie's look. "Hey, I can control Sam, okay? Or at least I used to be able to. At worst, she'll give you a wedgie and call you a nub, so don't freak out on me, okay?"

"Alright, but if she gives me a black eye, I'm never talking to you again," Freddie threatened.

"One can dream," Carly replied quickly, before giving Freddie an innocent look.

* * *

Freddie and Carly snuck the back way around the compound after climbing the fence. Though Carly was well-versed in climbing prison fences, it took Freddie a few tries to get over.

As she headed over towards the windows that covered Sam's cell, Carly gave Freddie a signal to be quiet as he joined her.

"Sam's going to give me a signal when the guard's not there," Carly whispered. "When I say so, help me open the window."

"Won't they know she's gone before we get anywhere?" Freddie hissed, his nervousness shining.

"Don't worry, she's got a decoy to keep them unaware for a while," Carly replied calmly. "We'll be fine."

At that moment, Sam gave the signal, and Carly and Freddie moved to open the window cover. It didn't open immediately, but through her panic, Carly managed to force it open, causing Freddie to stumble backwards.

"Just a second," Sam muttered from below. Carly heard some rustling and a couple of click-like sounds before Sam's hand appeared at the bottom of the opening that was just wide enough for her to fit through. Knowing that they only had a matter of moments before the guard returned, Carly grabbed her hand and pulled her out, closing the window quietly and sliding back in away from view.

"That was too close, Sam," Carly said, giving her an admonishing glance.

"What?" Sam asked laughingly. "I had room for one more pic on my camera. I figured I'd might as well rig it up and leave a pudding surprise for the guard in the morning when they open up the cell."

"Sam," Carly scolded. "How are you even going to get it? I mean, it's not going to be like you can sneak back in and get the camera back."

"Yeah, but I figure I'll be back there again sometime," Sam explained, completely seriously. "I can probably bribe the guard to give it back to me with a fat cake."

"Uh huh," Carly muttered knowingly. "And 'fat cake' doesn't happen to be code for 'beat the crud out of him', right?"

"Of course not," Sam replied in fake-shock. "Jeez, for my best friend, you sure have little faith in me."

"So says the one who was in jail," Carly remarked. "Look, let's just get out of here before they see us."

"Hey," Sam held her hand out to stop Carly. "Who's the boy?"

"Oh, that's Freddie," Carly replied. "He's a friend, too. Well, sorta."

Freddie, for his part, was frozen in his spot. "Eeep!"

Sam walked up to him, giving him a quick glance. "Hmm," she muttered, before turning to Carly. "Not worth it. Let's go!"

Carly gave Freddie a sympathetic smile as she watched Sam bolt towards the fence on the compound. "Better than a wedgie, right?"

Freddie stuck his tongue out as the two followed Sam out of juvie.

* * *

Carly, Freddie and Sam entered the Bushwell Plaza twenty minutes later. Freddie was doing his best to keep Carly between himself and Sam, though Sam was keeping true to her word: Freddie really didn't seem to be worth it for the blonde troublemaker.

"I think I saw a box of fat cakes in the stu…uhh, 3rd floor," Carly said, gaining an eyebrow raise from both of her friends. "That's probably enough to last you until we figure this out, Sam."

Catching Sam's drool-face, Carly retracted. "Or at least if we figure this out in a couple hours."

"Are you sure you want to keep her here?" Freddie asked, stopping in the middle of the lobby with a worried glance at Sam.

"I told you," Sam started, an eye roll and hint of a smile at the young geek. "Carly says you're a friend, even if you are a nub, so I'll go easy on you, okay?"

Freddie shot Sam a look. "Yeah, well…For you, going easy might be chopping off my legs and juggling them."

Sam raised her eyebrows, giving Carly a look. "Can I?"

"NO!" Carly yelled, taking Sam by the arm and dragging her towards the stairs. "Jeez, I swear you guys are worse now!"

"AAAAR…QUIET!" Lewbert yelled from the doorway of his office. "BLAAAAAARGERRG!"

Lewbert slammed the door shut again loudly, leaving the three teens staring in surprise after him.

"I guess it's too much to ask for Lewbert to be a nice fella, isn't it?" Carly asked rhetorically, leading the way up the stairs.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Sam raised her eyebrow at Carly as they walked through the hallway of the 8th floor. "A short angel…"

"Mitch," Carly cut in.

"Mitch," Sam repeated, "Made your wish for your artist-nutcake brother to be normal come true, and now your brother is a normal boring old guy who's in a relationship with the nub's neurotic mother?"

"Yup, pretty much," Carly nodded casually. Freddie, on the other hand, was at the boiling point.

"She's not neurotic!" He hissed, glaring at Sam with a finger wagging at her. "At least, not usually."

Carly shrugged. "He's right," she conceded. "His mother doesn't seem as neurotic as normal. But a not so crazy Mrs. Benson is hardly worth…"

Carly opened the door to her apartment and froze when she saw Spencer and the aforementioned Mrs. Benson in the kitchen, _baking_. Acting quickly before either noticed the group, Carly closed the door silently.

"What the yutz?" She whispered to her two friends. "Why would normal Spencer be cooking at…" Carly looked at her watch. "1:30 in the morning!"

"Oh, yeah," Freddie smiled thinly at Carly. "I, uh, forgot to mention that mom always makes sure Spencer cooks the next day's meals before he goes to bed."

"Heh, not neurotic my butt," Sam commented with a chuckle.

Sam and Freddie dissolved into an argument as Carly pushed the two into Freddie's apartment.

"Guys," Carly tried unsuccessfully to get their attention. "GUYS!" she shouted after a deep breath, the results more to her liking.

"Alright," Sam replied, trying to unplug her ears.

"What?" Freddie asked in annoyance, glaring at Carly.

Carly, for her part, was fishing through her pockets, not paying attention to the objections. "Where are my keys? I can't find my keys!"

"Uh, Spencer never gave you any keys," Freddie said, as if it should have been completely obvious.

"No ke…how the heck am I supposed to get into the apartment at night, then?" she asked with a glare.

"Uh, you don't leave it at night?" Freddie asked sweetly, earning a snarl of frustration from Carly.

"Please tell me the elevator still works," Carly asked, giving Freddie a look.

"Uh," Freddie stalled. Sam, meanwhile, was chuckling at the two.

"Dude, you're losing it Carls," she commented with a grin.

"What'd you just call me?" Carly asked with a somewhat hopeful look.

"What?" Sam asked in confusion. "'Carls'?"

"Yeah, you always called me that," Carly commented, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, well," Sam shrugged nonchalantly. "It seemed natural."

"Well, anyway," Carly continued, giving Sam a smug look. "You'd be losing it too if your brother was in the other room with a creep of a woman and between you and fat cakes…"

"Fat cakes!" Sam cut her off, entering hysterics. "I _need_ fat cakes!" She said, grabbing a hold of Freddie.

"Ahh!" he screeched in fear. "Help!"

Carly, for her part, quickly got in between the two to keep Sam from breaking Freddie into a scattering of pieces, not to mention before Freddie's wails attracted the National Guard.

"Freddie will go get them," she said, giving him a "_really?_" glare off the groan of disapproval. "What, you'd rather get beat to a pulp from a fat cake-less Sam?"

"Well, almost," Freddie retorted after being released from Sam's death grip, dusting himself off. "And if my mom sees me up at this hour, I'm never going to hear the end of it."

"Well, then you'll just have to be quiet, won't you?" Carly replied, pushing him back out the door.

* * *

TBC

* * *

_A/N: Alright! Two in the books! It'll probably be another week (that would be the end of the first week of August, 2010, for those reading this historic piece of work in the far off future) before the next update is posted._

_As for some loose ends to tie up, I'm sure there's a few people noticing some issues, so I will look to explain them somewhat here. Keep in mind, as I said in the first chapter, that I'm trying to keep this as much in the spirit of the real show, so a lot of logic is being suspended for the sake of plot development, so try and live with it._

_So, first off, the breaking out of jail. Yes, I realize it's highly unreasonable for Juvie's to have patrolling guards (or at least that's what I imagine), but this is fiction. It happens all the time! As well, some people are probably wondering about the incompetence. Does anyone remember Carl and Spanky? If not, just go with it._

_Secondly, I understand the times are somewhat all over the place. The first chapter should probably be late evening by the episode's timeline, but for here, lets just pretend it was morning, okay? So Carly "had a nap" at 10am, returned home at about 4pm (late afternoon), goes to break Sam out at around 9pm and gets back home around 1:30am. I know there's a lot of lost time there. I didn't feel like filling it in, 'cause I had no idea what Carly should be doing. The 1:30am was because that's what time it was when I wrote that scene. And now I'm blathering on. No one's probably even reading anymore…_

_So I'll make the rest of this quick: The references:_

_Pop-Culture References: Just 1_

_In-Show References: 2_

_Good luck!_

_That's it, thankfully._

_Happy reading!_


	3. How To Breed Insanity

_A/N: Alright, congrats on braving the fic to this point. Either you have no taste, or you really enjoy crap._

_Seriously, though, I hope everyone enjoys this piece. I think it and the next one are the best chapters in the story. And yes, that does mean I've finished both, but I'm going to let the suspense build for a few days, so don't expect another post for a little while. I'm not _that_ evil, though, so don't worry about it being too long._

_Anyway, that's the boring part of this note. Now for the fun stuff:_

_I had considered keeping this under wraps until it was out in the open, so to speak, but I've decided it'd be a disservice to anyone reading (I now know I have at least two…yay) to keep it quiet. _

_That secret is: This is a CarlyxSam fic. Yes. _That_ kind of fic. If you're not into that, leave now and forever hold your peace._

_I decided on this for 2 reasons; one is the fic didn't work without a pairing, so I had to take one (CarlyxFreddie would have felt forced, and SamxFreddie would have felt wrong). The other is that I just am intrigued by their relationship, and think it's an interesting plot._

_I also wrote myself three rules for the fic in regards to the pairing:_

_Make it like any other relationship, which breeds the following two:_

_No mention of sexual identity, or any negative feelings based solely on it._

_No kissing to reveal feelings, since that always feels like a cop-out._

_So that's about it. Sorry if this spoils a bit of the fun, but I feel those upset from the spoilers will probably be easier to deal with than those finding out about the pairing beforehand._

_Now go enjoy the update!_

Disclaimer: Dan seems to be above suing children, so if anyone asks, I'm 5 years old, okay? Yeah, that's not creepy at all. Just read!

Legend: _Italics are thoughts, _except when_ single _words_._

Summary: Freddie is entering the belly of the beast, and we're not talking about Sam. Will he get eaten alive? And will Carly find a way back to normality? Read on and find out!

* * *

**iFix It Myself: An iChristmas Extended Episode Fic**

**By:**

**David Armstrong, AKA Leafsdude**

* * *

**Chapter 3: How To Breed Insanity**

Freddie opened the front door slightly, taking a quick look in. Seeing his mom and Spencer, he quickly darted his head back out, closing the door again. Turning around, his back on the door, he took a deep breath. He remembered what happened last year, and sighed. He turned back around, took another breath, and pushed the door open wide.

He heard a slight squeak from the door and cursed Spencer for his lack of workmanship skills. His eyes wide, he waited for either of the adults to notice him.

"I don't want to make ice cream cookies in the oven, Uncle Barry," Spencer muttered in a haze.

"You'll do as I say or no egg shells in the morning," Mrs. Benson replied through a yawn.

Freddie rolled his eyes, sneaking past the two adults up the stairs. He quickly got to work finding the fat cakes before the crazy Sam went just a little more crazy.

* * *

Meanwhile, Carly and Sam waited patiently for his return.

"When's that boy coming back," Sam snarled once more as she paced in a circle.

"Will you calm down?" Carly asked in her most commanding voice. "He's been gone for thirty seconds!"

"Yeah, easy for you to say when you're standing in a nub's apartment with nothing but spinach and asparagus in the fridge," Sam muttered in frustration.

"He'll be back in a few minutes, I'm sure with enough fat cakes to last us until we figure out what to do," Carly tried again. "Or at least until you pound Freddie with his mother's mallet."

"She has a mallet?" Sam asked, perking up. On Carly's incredulous look, she shrugged. "What's the deal with Freddie, anyway? I mean, I get why we were friends, but _him_?"

"Oh, he's not that bad," Carly retorted with a smile. On Sam's look, she shrugged. "He has a crush on me. It kinda ended up that he was following us around, and we needed a tech guy, and we've been hanging out together since."

"Oh, c'mon," Sam looked at Carly strangely. "I wouldn't last a month without getting sent back to juvie 'cause of him."

"No, really," Carly replied in all seriousness. "I mean, sometimes I have to hold you back a little, but the worst you do to him is squirt cheese in his face and call him names."

"Mmm, cheese," Sam mumbled. "Speaking of names, what's the whole 'Carls' deal?" Sam segued.

"Well, I was kinda thinking that maybe…" Carly paused for a moment. "Maybe you were playing a trick on me."

"What? Really?" Sam smiled. "I didn't think you thought so highly of my work. But no. I can do a lot of stuff, but getting someone to think their insane-o brother was normal, I don't think so."

"Yeah, I know," Carly agreed.

"So…" Sam trailed off for a moment. "What else did I call you?"

Carly's eyes shot up in surprise. "What?"

"I called you Carls," Sam repeated. "Was that it?"

"Oh," Carly shrugged. "You called me cupcake a few times."

"Cupcake?" Sam snickered. "I must really like you, then."

"Hey," Carly looked at Sam with a smile. "You used the present tense!"

"So?" Sam asked, confused.

"You like me," Carly replied in an "I-told-you-so" voice.

"Maybe a little," Sam conceded after stuttering for a moment.

"Take that, Mitch," Carly said smugly at the ceiling. "Sam's my best friend again…"

"Only friend," Sam corrected with a little worried glance at Carly.

"And Freddie still loves me," Carly added happily. At least that much was right again.

"Now all you have to do is make Spencer all wacko again," Sam answered with a laugh.

"That's it!" Carly exclaimed, a plan quickly formulating in her head. She rushed over and gave Sam a hug.

Sam, for her part, was uncertain what was going through Carly's head. "Uhh…What?"

"If I can make Spencer realise his not-normal side again, maybe that'll make everything go back to normal," Carly said excitedly.

"But didn't you wish for him to be _born _normal?" Sam asked, sceptical.

"Yes, but…" Carly trailed off, thinking. "When I asked him to make spaghetti tacos, he didn't act like they were that weird. Like he knew what they were. And I hurt his shoulder. The one that he hurt when he almost blew up Ridgeway with his school art show sculpture. That was when dad told him that he probably should give up his artist dream 'cause dad was worried he'd hurt himself if he didn't."

"So maybe Spencer wasn't born normal?" Sam asked, rolling her eyes. "Figures that the ad was wrong. But he's a lawyer. How do you think you can make him all _crazy_ again?"

"Splatter Man!" Carly said gleefully, the pieces falling into place.

"What?" Sam asked. Carly _seemed_ to know exactly what she was talking about, but Sam still couldn't help but feel she'd walked into the middle of a Pee-Wee's Playhouse episode.

"It was an art thing he did," Carly tried to explain. "He had a plaster sculpture, and we threw paint on it."

"'Threw'?" Sam knotted her eyebrows in confusion.

"Yeah," Carly nodded. "We dipped our hands in paint and threw it onto the plaster. Most of his sculptures were crazy, but he was still completely serious about them. Like, he obsessed over them and was very precise on what he wanted, even to the smallest part. But with Splatter Man, it was like he was 17 again and I was 5. It was all about the fun and randomness. It's gotta make Spencer drop the whole lawyer thing."

"That does sound like fun," Sam agreed. "Can I help?"

"Sure," Carly said happily. "We should all do it. It's a lot better when others do it with you. But don't do it when your dad's clothes are in the room and you're using pen ink. He won't like it."

"So what do we do?" Sam asked.

"Well, we'll need some plaster," Carly said. "I can get a mold for the sculpture from the art store. I hope it's still there. Spencer was pretty much their only customer."

"I can get the paint," Sam interrupted.

"Sam, you're not stealing paint for me," Carly scolded, shaking her head.

"Who said I'd be stealing it?" Sam asked innocently. Carly just rolled her eyes.

At that moment, Freddie returned, dragging in a box full of fat cakes. Before he was all the way through the door, Sam pushed him out of the way and into the apartment, grabbing a couple handfuls of the contents.

"Hey!" Freddie protested to no avail. Before he could say anything more, Carly walked up beside him.

"She won't hear you," she said. "How'd you get that past your mom and Spencer?"

"They're barely awake," Freddie answered, pausing to look back at Sam for a moment before turning back to Carly. "I just hope they don't start a fire again like last year."

"Hey, nub," Sam piped up between bites. Freddie turned back towards the blonde, and was rewarded with a fat cake shoved into his mouth despite his mumbled objections.

"Don't worry, she likes you," Carly tried to comfort Freddie, patting his shoulder. "She doesn't waste food to torture just anyone."

Sam smiled in agreement, chewing on another fat cake.

* * *

"Oh, come on, that's cheating!" Mitch yelled to no one in particular.

"She's a smart one," Booming Voice answered calmly.

"But that's no fair," Mitch replied in annoyance. "They're not supposed to know the changes aren't complete. I hate false advertising!"

"Hey, sometimes you gotta change…" Booming Voice was cut off before he could finish,

"…'the rules in the middle of the game', yeah, yeah, I've heard the shtick before," Mitch commented, aggravated. "Just tell me you're going somewhere with this."

"You know as well as I do that I have no clue where this is going," Booming Voice scolded. "If I did, why would I watch it?"

"Makes sense," Mitch replied. "Alright, but if this starts to go crazy, I'm leaving."

"Don't worry; it won't go that far," Booming Voice replied again.

"You're darn right it won't," Mitch muttered.

"I heard that," Booming Voice shot back, annoyed.

"Eeep!" Mitch shrieked.

* * *

Carly filled Freddie in on their plan as Sam continued to chow down the fat cakes from the box. He was able to help with the plaster problem, though not without his objections, when he revealed he had some for a science project that he was working on.

They each slept very badly that night. Carly was, of course, worried about whether her plan would work, as well as the ick factor of Spencer and Freddie's mom as an item.

Sam, meanwhile, was sleeping on Freddie's couch, with Carly unwilling to even try dragging her into and back out of the loft around Spencer and Mrs. Benson. Freddie assured both that the latter was not going to be heading back to their apartment that night, instead most likely spending it on the Shay couch. Despite the high level living conditions compared to her normal situation, Sam still slept fitfully, dreaming about, as odd as it seemed to her, a monster that kept eating her soup.

Freddie, himself, refused to sleep in the same dwelling as Sam, even with her insisting she wouldn't try anything. With the couch taken, Freddie was forced to sleep in the attic on a small chair. Beyond the uncomfortable 'bed', sleeping just a few steps away from Carly hung in his mind throughout the night.

Despite their fatigue, the three worked hard on getting everything ready for that night after they reassembled in Freddie's apartment, all the while keeping Spencer and Mrs. Benson unaware about Sam or their plan.

Finally, as Carly put the finishing touches on the plaster model, she gave Freddie, with blankets to cover the floors, and Sam, with the paint cans, the signal to begin to bring everything into the Shay loft.

As Carly followed with the yet-to-be-splattered Splatter Man on wheels, she spotted Spencer at the kitchen table sipping on a glass of lemonade, unaware of the intruders.

With everything in place, Sam and Freddie moved behind Carly, waiting for her to make the next move. Sam's impatience wore characteristically thin as she turned to the other girl.

"That _is_ Spencer, right?" she asked in a louder voice than one would expect from anyone else.

Carly rolled her eyes and simply nodded. Spencer, meanwhile, went into a coughing fit from his surprise.

"Carly, Freddie…" Spencer trailed off on a mixture of an additional coughing fit and unfamiliarity with Sam. "Who's your new friend?"

"That's Sam," Freddie spoke up smugly before Carly could stop him. "Carly's _best friend_."

"Sam?" Spencer asked in surprise, turning towards the person in question, unease evident in his posture.

"Hey, I recognise you," Sam commented in realization, taking a step forward. "You're that guy…"

"You called my art _stupid_!" Spencer exclaimed in fury.

"Hey!" Sam paused in surprise. "I was eight. Everything's stupid at that age."

Carly and Freddie gave Sam a strange look, unable to back up the comment.

"Well, everything to me was," she amended with a shrug.

"Wait," Carly finally broke in, catching Spencer's attention. "I thought you didn't want me hanging out with Sam because she was a 'bad influence'. That was just an excuse, wasn't it?"

"Maybe," Spencer sulked.

"And Sam loves your art," Carly continued, catching Sam's eyes.

"Yeah, sure," Sam said in disinterest, shrugging at Carly's incredulous look. "In fact, we wanted to ask you to help us with our school art project."

"Art project?" Spencer asked in surprise. "I didn't know you were taking art, Carly."

"It's an extra-curricular class," Carly fibbed quickly. "So will you?"

"Carly, you know I don't do art anymore," Spencer replied in his typical fashion.

"I know but…" Carly trailed off, at a loss.

"It's due tomorrow and we need as many hands as we can get," Sam broke in on cue.

"How come you're not already done it?" Spencer asked Carly in surprise.

"Oh, well," Carly paused. "You know. Sam's kinda…irresponsible, I guess. But at least she's helping _now_."

Freddie, for his part, was smirking. "_Irresponsible _indeed," he said quietly, earning him a swift, painful kick in the shin from Sam that went unnoticed by everyone else. "Ahhh!"

"So, you'll help?" Carly asked Spencer again.

"Alright," he sighed. "But I should take my tie off, first."

"You really should," Sam agreed quickly, shrugging at Carly's glare. "What? It's horrible!"

"Hey, I'll have you know I spent..." Spencer started, before being interrupted.

"Spencer, just take off your tie," Carly said bossily. "And Sam, no more comments about Spencer's tastes, even if they are kinda strange."

Both complied, moving so they were in front of the plaster sculpture.

"So, what are we doing?" Spencer asked, looking at Carly.

"Oh, nothing crazy," Carly smirked. "Just randomly throwing paint on that sculpture."

"Oh…where's the brushes?" Spencer questioned, looking around.

"Brushes are for wimps," Carly replied, holding her hands up. "We use these."

Spencer stood ridged, taking a step back. "Wait, what?"

"Oh, c'mon," Freddie said, opening a blue paint can. "It's art."

"Yeah, look," Sam said, dipping her hand into some orange paint before flinging it towards the sculpture. "It's fun!"

Carly quickly joined in, quickly adding in her own green and purple colours to go with Sam's orange.

As the three continued with their throwing, interrupted periodically with amused laughter, Spencer finally gave in. Opening the red paint can, he looked at it warily.

"Well, Mr. Paint Can, I guess it's just between you and my digits," he said to it as he cautiously dipped his fingers in. Flinging it at the sculpture, he couldn't help but let a small smirk escape after hearing the solid smack of contact.

Eventually, the four dissolved into uncoordinated throwing of paint and hysterical laughter of enjoyment, led mostly by Spencer.

Just as they started to wind down, feeling that the sculpture was adequately covered, and that Spencer was reasonably weirdified, Mrs. Benson walked in.

"Hey, why don't I smell…?" she started, before trailing off in shock. "What is going on?"

"Oh, hey Mrs. Benson," Carly said cheerfully, turning back to her paint can, which was now mostly empty.

"Spencer," Mrs. Benson huffed. "You know I expect dinner to be ready at exactly 8pm!"

"Oh," Spencer shrugged. "Sorry."

In annoyance, she turned to Freddie and Carly. "Fredward Benson and Carlotta Shay! What do you think you're doing?"

"Uhh, painting?" Freddie responded, timidly. For her part, Carly was not handling it as well.

"Hey," she said sassily. "_No one_ calls me that."

Mrs. Benson glared at Carly. Before she could make any more commands, there was a knock at the door.

"Who's there?" Mrs. Benson asked through the door, still annoyed.

"We're the police," a male voice answered back authoritatively. "We have a search warrant for a Samantha Puckett."

The three teens looked at each other in surprise and horror.

"I'm sorry, I don't think…" Mrs. Benson started as she opened the door.

"NO, DON'T OPEN IT!" Carly yelled too late, as the two officers walked in and spotted Sam.

"Carly," Spencer asked slowly, turning to his sister. "Was Sam in juvie?"

"Uhh," Carly didn't get a chance to respond.

"Put your hands where I can see them," one of them said to the teens.

Carly and Freddie looked at each other, and then at Sam, the worry plain and obvious on their faces.

_Great_, Carly thought with a sigh.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

_A/N: Ooo, that's probably the best cliff-hanger I've made. Well, at least for one that doesn't involve anyone dying._

_Nothing really needs to be explained here. Most plot holes are pretty well covered, including how Spencer's actually still quite crazy. He's just hiding it better. I know there's not really a why, but if you really need one, feel free to make one up in your head. I might add something in to officially explain it later if I can._

_So that's about it. Just the final piece: References!_

_Pop-Culture: Got kinda lazy here, ending up with none._

_In-Show: 4…yes, count them…FOUR. There are 3 in the space of 7 paragraphs._

_Have fun, and happy reading!_


	7. The Waltz

_A/N: Alright, to the end we go, dudes!_

_Yes, it's time for the best part of any fic: the ending! Of course, this is just the ending by strict definition. I still have a final chapter, which is about 2/3rds done, to post after this, but that won't really advance the story as much as tie up a few loose ends and have a little fun._

_Classic mushy-mushy chapter here, which includes some non-sensical stuff, so be forewarned. Proceed with extreme caution and a lot of insulin shots, just in case._

_So, let's move on, shall we?_

Disclaimer: Dan seems to be above suing children, so if anyone asks, I'm 5 years old, okay? Yeah, that's not creepy at all. Just read!

Legend: _Italics are thoughts, _except when_ single _words_._

Summary: Carly did _WHAT? _ Can we really see a happy ending, or is everything doomed to failure even before it began? You probably already know the answer, but read on anyway…Please?

* * *

**iFix It Myself: An iChristmas Extended Episode Fic**

**By:**

**David Armstrong, AKA Leafsdude**

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Waltz**

Carly ran all the way back to her apartment, not stopping even as she ran up the stars and approached the door. Swinging it open wildly, she entered the loft, shutting the door behind her. She closed her eyes, ears trained to hear anything from the other side.

Truthfully, she didn't expect to hear Sam behind her. If Sam had gone after her, she would have caught Carly way earlier. Not necessarily because Sam was a much faster runner, which she was, but also because Carly probably wouldn't have been able to ignore her.

Turning around, eyes still shut tightly, Carly laid back on the door with a sigh. _ That was weird._

"Hey kiddo!" A voice exploded out, causing Carly to jump in shock, her eyes flying open.

Instantly, she saw Spencer and Freddie. For a moment, she was confused, until she noticed what was behind them: a big blob of foam, shaped suspiciously like Canadian bacon.

"What is _that_?" Carly asked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, this?" Spencer asked rhetorically, turning towards the sculpture himself. "It's my latest piece! I call it 'Foam Ham'd'."

Carly stared at Spencer for a second. "What?"

"You know, Foam Ham'd?" Spencer tried again, jumping around as if that would help prove his point. "It's foam that has been shaped like ham. So…Foam hand? Foam Ham'd?"

Spencer chuckled at his lame pun, while Carly sighed.

"It's a good thing Sam isn't here," Spencer said off-hand after thinking for a second. "This foam's very toxic."

"So, where'd you go?" Freddie asked Carly after a moment, noticing Carly's generally upheavaled look.

"To the Groovy Smoothie," Carly answered nonchalantly, hiding her increasing anxiety. _How much more do you need to know?_ She thought.

"You didn't get me a Blueberry-Banana Blitz?" Spencer asked in shock and sadness. Carly just rolled her eyes in response.

"Where _is_ Sam?" Freddie wondered, eyebrows raised. "She was here not that long ago. I didn't think she'd be gone until the fridge was completely empty."

Carly frowned for a moment, looking down in embarrassment.

"She was at the Groovy Smoothie, too…with me," she said.

"You mean you left without her?" Freddie asked in concern, looking on the verge of freaking out. Carly felt a pang of guilt as she considered this. _What else could I have done?_

"Sam said you guys _weren't_ fighting," Spencer spoke up again, looking at Carly in confusion.

Carly's face fell for an instant. _Okay, so not telling them anything right now. Although, if I don't, they're only going to get more concerned and curious, and then they're reach conclusions…Oh, great. Now I'm gonna tell them._

"We're, uh, not…exactly fighting," Carly managed to spit out.

Freddie raised his eyebrows, the stutter and slight flush giving Carly away. _Sam usually works fast…but this fast?_

"Oh, good," Spencer said, pleased. He paused for a second, though, the other issue re-entering his head. "But then why did you ditch her?"

Carly looked at Spencer, and then at Freddie. _Aw man…_

"Sam loves me!" she blurted, eyes blazing.

"Oh," Freddie answered. _I guess so._

Spencer, immune to Carly's gaze, shrugged. "And…?"

"Really, Spencer?" Carly asked harshly, raising her eyebrows for added effect.

Spencer thought about it for a moment. _Sam loves Carly. Sam loves Carly. Sam loves…oh!_ Getting it, Spencer shrugged, moving on with his work.

Carly turned to Freddie, who seemed somewhat surprised, but clearly still understanding the story.

"What do I do?" she asked worriedly.

"Well, you ran away from her," Freddie snarked. "That's a good start."

"That's not helping," Carly scoffed..

"Sorry," Freddie shrugged. "Why don't we go to Skybucks? You know, pick up a couple of coffees, talk about it a bit, just you and me?"

"Freddie," Carly warned.

Freddie sighed, giving up. "Why is this such a big deal?"

"Hello! It's not every day my best friend tells me they're in love with me," Carly shot back in frustration.

"Uh," Freddie raised his eyebrows, trying his best to make himself more noticeable, but failing miserably. He slumped a bit with a sigh. "Why didn't you just tell her you feel the same?"

"What?" Carly's eyes bulged at Freddie. "I…I don't!"

"Oh, c'mon," Freddie replied, not buying it. "I've seen you with Sam while she's sick. You _enjoy_ it."

"Yeah. So what?" Carly asked. "That's normal…right?"

Freddie sighed. _Why do I have to be the nice guy?_

"Yeah, we all know everyone would break their best friend out of jail, just 'cause they're depressed she's not around," Freddie said sarcastically.

"Yes, we do," Carly responded, trying her best to sound confident but failing miserably.

"No they don't, Carly," Freddie shot back with a smirk. He didn't know why this was funny, but somehow it just was.

"Why not?" Carly asked timidly.

"Uh, the guards?" Freddie replied, obviously. "They're huge. Plus, if it wasn't for Sam's dummies and her laziness, they would notice she's gone. Oh, and all that climbing. It's a lot of work."

"Maybe I find that kind of work fun," Carly argued sassily, turning away from Freddie's gaze.

"Sure," Freddie replied sarcastically. "C'mon, you know you'd do anything for her."

"Yeah?" Carly said daringly. "Like what?"

Freddie gulped, but trudged on. "Well, it happens weekly on iCarly. And what about that time she licked that swing set, and you gave her that soup."

"What was so strange about that?" Carly asked innocently.

"Not everyone makes chicken noodle soup from scratch when they've never made anything except for lemonade in their whole lives," Freddie answered with a laugh.

"She really wanted some, and Spencer didn't buy us any," Carly said defensively. She tried to ignore Freddie's impatient look, but failed. "Oh my God, I'm in love with Sam Puckett!"

Slack-jawed, Carly looked at Freddie oddly. He raised his eyebrows questioningly in return.

Regaining her senses, Carly turned back around, bolting for the door. However, her efforts to open it weren't rewarded.

"Uh, Carly?" Freddie asked innocently. "Don't forget the lock."

Looking at the relevant part, Carly snapped it open. "Shut up, Freddie," she said as she headed out the door.

* * *

In the cool, misty evening air, Carly felt like she was walking in circles, hoping to aimlessly bump into Sam.

_This isn't working, _she thought obviously. She quickly began wondering easier ways to find Sam.

_Maybe if I figure out where she might be_, she thought, rolling her eyes. She stopped suddenly, her mind going into overdrive as she began to think of where Sam would go in a situation like this.

_When she found out about Jonah, she went home even though Mrs. Puckett had just gotten a new bikini,_ Carly considered, turning towards the walkway to the Puckett household. She paused, her mind reeling her in. _But she dumped him._

She stood there, thinking again. _When Frankie Murkin rudely dumped her, she went and egged Mrs. Briggs' house for an hour._

Turning around the other way, she paused again, reconsidering. _But she wasn't rejected by either of them._

She frowned, returning to square one. After a moments thought, she couldn't recall a time when Sam _had_ been rejected.

Returning to the original direction she was going, Carly started coming up with a simpler plan.

"Someone must have seen where she went in the Groovy Smoothie," she muttered.

Quickly turning and jogging in that direction, she made it to the front door in a matter of moments. Opening the door, she waved at T-Bo behind the front counter, walking in that direction.

As she moved into T-Bo's earshot, a flash of blonde caught her eye. Doing a double-take, she was surprised to see Sam. She was sitting at the same table while slurping a smoothie, her eyes cast towards the table surface.

Carly looked around in surprise, wondering if anyone else was confused that Sam, the queen of confidence, was drinking a smoothie in clear depression. Instantly, Carly's confusion rose; no one else was in the hangout.

"Sam!" Carly's voice rang out without her realizing it. "What did you do?"

Carly winced as Sam's eyes shot up in surprise and confusion, the blue in them a shadow of their former selves. Carly noted that her comment, despite coming out completely on their own, did have her trademark playful note to them. She hoped that was enough to keep Sam at least comfortable enough not to bolt.

Sam, for her part, felt like her brain had completely stopped. Time also appeared to stand still. What was Carly doing here? She considered possibilities, but most of them ended up worse than the current state her world was in. Something was forcing her to stay planted in her seat, though, and as Carly cautiously wandered over to her table, she was unable to budge herself even an inch.

Carly took a seat, mind racing a mile a minute. The idea that Sam wouldn't do anything seemed far fetched. As evidenced by Carly's unconscious question, she wondered if everyone had piled out because she had her moment of emotional outburst, and had just calmed down.

Sam finally gained control of the upper part of her body, forcing her eyes back down to her very interesting smoothie, drinking from it a bit more strongly. In all her scenarios for why Carly was here, none of them had her sitting down in front of her.

Carly noticed Sam close in on herself again when she sat down and frowned. She studied the other girl carefully, trying to spot anything she recognized as Sam, and wound up empty handed. She wondered, again, what she really felt for her. Was she in love with Sam, her best friend, lover of every kind of meat and wedgier of anyone who was unlucky enough to cross her path and be too meek (or smart) to fight back?

_Am I in love with this person sitting in front of me right now?_ Carly's mind paused in its rollercoaster, her studying doing the same. She realized she wasn't. _This_ wasn't Sam. Not the one she could consider those feelings around. Sam was carefree, instinctual and _happy_. Not this lump that was nervously slurping a smoothie.

"So," Carly finally broke the stillness, the loudness of her voice even surprising her. She coughed to steady herself. "Whatcha been up to?"

Sam looked back up, slower and more purposely this time. She took in the look and posture of her taller friend, and immediately recognized the nervous excitement buried within.

"Smoothies," she shrugged, looking at her cup.

Carly glanced over at T-Bo, and then back at Sam. She frowned again, though a bit more playfully this time.

"How many did you have?" she scolded like a mother would. Sam could hear the tone loud and clear, and imagined Carly's hands on her hips in disappointment.

"Uh, eight?" she answered meekly.

Carly shook her head, taking the cup from Sam. "No more for you, then," she said.

"Hey!" Sam shot up, reaching over to try and regain her comfort drink, but unable to beat Carly's speed and cunning. "Give it back!"

Carly laughed, playing keep-away while Sam kept trying to take it back.

Eventually, Sam gave up, sitting back down with a mild pout, clearly amused in spite of her mental state.

Carly noticed that this was the Sam she admired so. Sam looked defeated, but wasn't upset about it. She was enjoying it. Carly frowned in uncertainty. 'Admired' felt like a good word to use, but it was only one of many. She was free around Sam, able to be whatever she felt like being, not worrying about what it meant. And she knew she didn't feel right when she wasn't around her. Everyone had always said she wasn't 'Carly' without Sam beside her, and they'd always said Sam wasn't 'Sam' without her. She never realized how right they were.

Carly considered her feeling for another moment, absently putting the smoothie on the table, not caring when Sam swiped it back and started gulping it down. Carly wondered absently if there really was such a thing as love. Whether or not that was what she felt, she knew that the idea of being with Sam always, in every way possible, was something she wanted, perhaps even needed.

Sam snuck a glance at Carly, confused, but relaxing in her presence. Something seemed off with the whole thing, but all she wanted was to have Carly around her, and if this meant anything, it was that she could.

"Why are you still here?" Carly questioned again, looking around at the emptiness. "And why did you scare away all of T-Bo's customers?"

"I didn't scare them away, Carls," she said, laughing. "No one's ever here after 9. T-Bo made an exception for me."

"'Cause you're great pals?" Carly asked, rolling her eyes.

"No," Sam drew out playfully, the sparkle in her eyes returning. "Because I didn't have the money to pay for these."

Carly shook her head. That was her Sam; never prepared. Carly paused in mid-thought. "Her" Sam. She realized how easily she'd used that before, even when she hadn't realized the feelings it suggested. Sam did whatever Carly told her, whenever she did. And Carly did the same for Sam. It wasn't even four hours ago when she had a slow dance with Sam.

"Do I always have to bail you out?" Carly asked, her tone laced with humour.

"I would like it you did," Sam replied quickly. Carly shot a surprised look at Sam, causing her to fold back in on herself defensively.

Carly frowned. She didn't know what was happening, but she knew she wanted Sam to be with her. Despite this, she couldn't figure out a good way to tell her.

Finally, Carly reached across, gently putting her hand on Sam's. The familiar feeling of comfort washed over her, as Sam looked at her in confusion.

Carly considered what she could say, and found them all not quite fitting right. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, the action only rewarding her with more air in her lungs. Eventually, she forced her brain to stop. _I can't think my way through this. I gotta just let it come out._

"I'd…I'd like it if I did, too," Carly finally said, smiling softly at Sam.

Sam, for her part, looked at Carly in complete shock. _Is she saying what I think she's saying?_ She wondered. _Is it worth hoping for?_

"Uh, what?" Sam finally managed to squeak out, not trusting herself to say anything beyond the simple questions.

"Sam, Cuttlefish tickets and a one-of-a-kind shirt didn't get between us," Carly paused, wondering whether that sounded right. She decided it didn't matter at this point, and continued on. "Not that I'm saying that I don't want you to feel that way, because…well, because I'm not sure what I feel, but I do know I don't mind the idea of being around you my whole life. I'm not sure if that's love, Sam. But if it isn't, then it's still good enough."

Sam looked at Carly weirdly, before shaking her head. "What?"

Carly rolled her eyes, letting go of Sam's hand. "I'm saying...that we should, you know…be an item?"

Sam finally caught on, the moment of realization taking an extra second to sink in. "Huh? Wait, what…really?"

Carly shrugged with a smile as she watched Sam go from her completely docile state into the whooping and hopping teenager without a care Carly had always felt lucky to be around.

As Sam settled down, she stood beside Carly's chair, giving her a sheepish look. "I'm good."

"You'd better not be," Carly teased with a humoured grin.

"Don't start with me, Shay," Sam teased back, pulling Carly up and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Now what do you say we pay for these and go home?"

"Why the rush?" Carly asked, rolling her eyes. "What about another dance?"

"Uh, no thanks," Sam said. Carly faked an insulted look, causing Sam to roll her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not all that into that kind of dancing."

"Yeah, me neither," Carly shrugged in return, smirking.

"And anyway," Sam said, pausing to take a listen to the song…

**Time,**

**Where did you go?**

**Why did you leave me here,**

**Alone?**

"That's a waltz," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

**Wait,**

**Don't go so fast.**

**I'm missing the moments,**

**As they pass.**

"What's a waltz?" Carly asked in confusion.

"It's a 3 count," Sam replied simply. Upon the unchanging look on Carly's face, she shrugged. "That's what my dance teacher told me."

**Now, I've looked in the mirror,**

**And the world,**

**Getting clearer.**

**So wait for me,**

**This time.**

"You took dance?" Carly asked in surprise as the two walked to pay for Sam's drinks, arms still around each others shoulder.

"Yes, and if you mention that to Fredica, I _will_ make you waltz with me," Sam threatened sternly, her free hand pointing at Carly.

"My lips are sealed," Carly promised with a nod.

**I'm down,**

**I'm down on my knees,**

**I'm begging for all your sympathies.**

The two headed out the door, the music still permeating around the area.

**But you (are just an illusion),**

**You don't seem to care (I wish that I could),**

**You humble people,**

**Every-**

"Oh, just shut that off already!" Sam shouted, poking her head back in the door before an arm dragged her back away.

"Alright," T-Bo yelled back. "Jeez, kids these days."

* * *

_A/N: Aww! Wasn't that just so…*blows nose in tissue*._

_The song is 'Time' by Chantel Kreviazuk. I didn't put it in the top disclaimer, because I felt it would give too much away. So leave me alone._

_So yeah. One more chapter to go. Hopefully you liked this one. If you didn't, you're gonna hate the last one._

_So anyway…_

_References:_

_Pop-Culture: None._

_In-show: 5_

_Thanks, and happy reading!_


End file.
